Working From Home - Day 1

It's March, and it's snowing out. We just passed the spring equinox, but when does the weather really care about that?
This is the first time I've ever worked from home. Every job I've had, including this one, has been about working with people. But this is my new normal for the next weeks, maybe months.

The whole thing about this pandemic fills me with a combination of anxiety, dread, and humor. We've done this before, of course. There have been other pandemics. Some not quite as global, but that was because we were a less global species then. And we experiences them in terms of our families, work, communities. Now we are experiencing it globally - our social media feeds showing the outbreak from all over. I tend to think of humans as never learning anything from their past, because let's face it, we don't. I'm sure there were folks in Europe and the US during the Spanish Flu epidemic walking around thinking it's not that bad. It's nothing that I don't expect from my species, unfortunately. Still frustrating, of course. People so hell bent on being right, on not bending from their normal, that they'll scream from the rafters about conspiracies, "I' don't care" or whatever nonsense they make up as justification. See - climate change denial, anti-vaxers, etc. There's a lot of stupid, and common sense isn't very common.

For me, my biggest fear right now is losing my parents. Fuck my normal life - it's blah to begin with, and I've been fighting for the last 3.5 years to find a new normal anyway. I'll figure it out. But this could kill my parents, and I'm not ready for that. Mom is fairly healthy for 76, save for the ubiquitous type 2 diabetes. My Dad is a mess, including low-grade emphysema.  My gut tells me if he gets sick, he'll die. And everything about his death will be on me - estate, cleaning up his stuff, etc.

So now, at the end of the work day (I've been adding to this post since this morning) I learn that one person at my job has tested positive. Now, it's a big place. And there's a higher chance that we did not interact than there is of interaction. But I don't know what to do with myself. I need to go out and get cigarettes for Dad tomorrow. We usually spend one night a week together, and I've been wearing a mask to go over. Now what? They are tracking back all the places this person was the past two weeks (they haven't been on-site for 8 days) and contacting ppl who may have come in contact. When will I know? And, of course, I immediately have tightness in my chest, because that's how my anxiety comes through.
I'm a reasonable person, when I want to be. I'm trying to remain calm and logical about the whole mess. And yet, I also have pretty terrible anxiety. Which rears it's head throughout the day just to keep me on my toes.

Sigh. It's gonna be a long, fucking year.